[WALL OF SHAME] Analogies as bad as …(fill in the blank)

Wordsmiths spend a big part of their days trying to hone their skills. But sometimes it helps to try a different perspective.

What does bad writing look like? Do you know bad writing when you see it? Where can you go for examples of really bad writing?

Warning! Reading these examples of bad analogies may lead to spontaneous laughter. Please don’t read these while drinking hot liquids!

Really Bad Analogies Written by High School Students

  1. Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.
  2. He was as tall as a 6’ 3” tree.
  3. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
  4. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.
  5. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
  6. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
  7. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
  8. He was a lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame … maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
  9. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
  10. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.
  11. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife’s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.
  12. The lamp just sat there, like an inanimate object.

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